pancake

i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...


selli: (has fallen asleep on the train)

christian bale: oh no! that's not safe at all. I'd better stand here and scowl at all the people who are thinking of taking advantage of her.

selli: (mumbles) but I really want a pony.

christian bale: score! now I know what to get for her birthday! hey, you, don't even think about it. she's my girl.

2003-08-24 // 3:32 p.m. // selli


jonathan rhys-meyers: I knew you'd be getting in all tipsy, so I made you a turkey sandwich with extra pickles. here's a glass of water and some aleve.

bunny: aw, thanks! I brought you back a lei, by the way.

jonathan rhys-meyers: you are too thoughtful! and I've got a lay for you too!

bunny: what a crazy coincidence!

2003-08-24 // 12:10 a.m. // bunny


selli: (cough cough)

gabriel byrne: are you feeling okay my love? here, lay on the couch for a while and put your feet up. I'll make some tea with honey and milk, and then you can lay your head on my chest while I recite the Lord Byron's best works.

selli: your voice does rumble beautifully during She Walks In Beauty.

gabriel byrne: "One shade the more, one ray the less..."

2003-08-22 // 3:46 p.m. // selli


bunny: ungh. why did I stay out so late last night when today I had to be up so early? I feel like poop.

rufus sewell: poor thing. here, why don't you use me as a cushy pillow and take a nice long nap � for however long you want. I don't care if my arm falls asleep or my knee starts to itch. you're way more important, and I've waited all day to cuddle up with you.

bunny: (snores)

2003-08-22 // 12:17 p.m. // bunny


jonathan rhys-meyers: you're sure you don't want me to clean anything? or do your work for you? I don't mind, really. that's pretty much all I've been doing since I got here, but I know it makes you happy to not have to worry about it. do you have any laundry?

selli: the only things that need to be washed are the clothes I'm wearing.

jonathan rhys-meyers: well, then, let me help you out of those.

selli: take your time with the lingerie. it's delicate.

2003-08-22 // 12:22 p.m. // selli


selli: why do I even bother visiting the Real World anymore? it's so much less perfect than Pancake Utopia. I'm so very, very glad I made it back in one piece.

chester: you wanna watch cartoons?

selli: oh oh! the thundercats?

chester: only if I get to be Mumra! RAHHH!!!

2003-08-21 // 2:01 p.m. // selli


bunny: ugh, I'm so sick of work already been here for... an hour... and not the fifteen minutes that it might seem to less keen observers. and I'm hungry, and all I have in my purse are carrot sticks.

craig bierko: silly bunny, this is Pancake Utopia! you don't have to work at all! and it just so happens that I made you some pancakes, so come on home with me and have some breakfast. I even planted a lemon tree for you and modified neil patrick harris' Space-Time Continuum Machine to accelerate time in a specified set of coordinates so that the tree will produce enough lemons for me to offer you a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade.

bunny: wow, I didn't know you were that smart!

craig bierko: I'm not, actually. but this is Pancake Utopia. now go get your ass in that hammock while I spike your lemonade.

2003-08-21 // 8:04 a.m. // bunny


christian bale: I know you don't feel like going out tonight, so I've called and cancelled all your plans. I told everyone you'd been kidnapped by a band of roving gypsies and I was on my way to track them down and rescue you in a very Daniel Day-Lewis Last of the Mohicans fashion. I also found this antique loveseat which I reupholstered myself in apple green velvet.

bunny: how lovely! and I was so tired from work, too. you're the best.

christian bale: that's a pretty sweeping claim. why don't you join me over here and let me prove it?

bunny: isn't the loveseat rather small for that sort of thing?

christian bale: I promise you won't even notice.

2003-08-20 // 1:14 p.m. // bunny


rufus sewell: I heard you were out of cigarettes, so I brought you some yummy cloves. they make your lips tingle and taste like cinnamon!

selli: (licks lips)

rufus sewell: exactly. let me light that for you.

2003-08-20 // 11:34 a.m. // selli


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