i ordered you a pancake
Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...
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neil patrick harris: I've noticed how glum you are, so I decided to use my superior intellect to devise an incredibly painful torture device for you to employ when dealing with your awful client. bunny: oh, it's so cute! that's my favorite shade of green! neil patrick harris: I know. and! it goes up to eleven! bunny: do you think you could add a feature where it makes cappucino while I relax and listen to the screams of my adversaries? neil patrick harris: I already did. (beams) it makes milkshakes, too. |
2003-08-27 // 1:04 p.m. // bunny
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bunny: if this stupid fucking company doesn't choose a stupid fucking cover... christian bale: what's all this, then? is someone causing you stress, bunny? tell me their names and I'll gut them eyesballs to bollocks! bunny: it's just this client, they're being so intractable and, well, stupid. christian bale: not to worry, I'll have my business manager buy them up. I'll have them approve whatever design you like, and once your charming little salary has been paid we can parcel out economic justice. bunny: I love it when you use your powers for evil. |
2003-08-27 // 9:42 a.m. // bunny
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jonathan rhys-meyers: what are you doing in the office, kitten? I thought you were taking the day off. selli: I was, but apparently the world stops revolving if I'm not here. jonathan rhys-meyers: I know that mine does. selli: aw, that's sweet darling, but I really need to get all of this -- hey, where did all my work go? jonathan rhys-meyers: it's all finished and has been turned in. you'll probably get a raise from all this. you did excellent work, really. (impish grin) selli: I knew there was a reason I came to utopia. jonathan rhys-meyers: if it has anything to do with me drawing you a bubble bath, then it was a damn good reason. |
2003-08-27 // 9:11 a.m. // selli
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selli: after a day of massages, pancakes, martinis, snuggles, and damn good movies, I don't think life could possibly get any better. joaquin pheonix: (sticks his head in the room) I just got you tickets to the Cave In concert. selli: I love Pancake Utopia. |
2003-08-26 // 3:03 p.m. // selli
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jonathan rhys-meyers: hullo! I just scrubbed your tub! bunny: I can't even imagine... that tub is fifty thousand years old, and all the dirt is fossilized. jonathan rhys-meyers: yes, but I used a cleaning fluid that I made myself out of bleach, acid, and antimatter. normally it would eat the flesh off my bones up to my elbows, but since this is Pancake Utopia I'm fit as a fiddle! see? (flexes and does other manly things) bunny: come with me, you! we're taking a bath. jonathan rhys-meyers: dirty girl... bunny: but I haven't even done anything yet! |
2003-08-26 // 10:03 a.m. // bunny
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craig bierko: you look tired. come on over here and snuggle up with me. selli: I've just had a really rough week. can we watch Withnail and I again? craig bierko: you must be psychic--I already put it into the DVD player! selli: you're the best! craig bierko: can I massage your hands? I really like that. |
2003-08-26 // 10:57 a.m. // selli
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rufus: where did all this work come from? I thought neil was going to help you out with this silly data entry nonsense. selli: he was, but I think I might have hurt him a little yesterday. he'll probably need a day or two more to recover. rufus: well, he should have prepared himself for a night with you. you're a tiger. selli: that's what I told him. he was all "let's watch movies" and I wasn't having it. rufus: good girl. now, I'm going to find jonathan rhys-meyers and get him to take care of this, and then you and I are going to go find a public place to snog in. selli: PDA? you dirty boy... lemme get my purse. |
2003-08-25 // 12:40 p.m. // selli
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bunny: oh, fuck. I've overcooked the cr�me br�l�e. mathieu kassovitz: what? I don't believe you, let me have a taste. (eating an entire serving) you are ridiculous, this is fantastic. you're a master chef. bunny: well, I wouldn't say master... kassovitz: but I would. don't argue with me, I am french. fine, if you want to argue, let's do so over theory, yes? I will read to you jacques derrida's Differance completely in french, and then � bunny: darling, we're not even going to make it all the way through. kassovitz: you have uncovered my evil plan. now why are all those silly clothes still on? |
2003-08-25 // 8:46 a.m. // bunny
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bunny: ugh, my back's all kinked up today. I wish I had a person to walk on my back and smooth out all these knots. joaquin phoenix: I have something even better than having someone walk on your back. bunny: oh, really? what's that? joaquin phoenix: here, roll over. let me show you what tongues can do... |
2003-08-24 // 10:32 p.m. // bunny
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neil patrick harris: I have the urge to spend all day Sunday curled up in the featherbed, drinking chai latte and watching romantic comedies. selli: I have the urge to reward you for your perfection. neil patrick harris: if the reward includes letting me put my hands in your hair, then I'll gladly accept. selli: I'm sure you'll be able to reach. neil patrick harris: oh, my. |
2003-08-24 // 4:42 p.m. // selli
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