i ordered you a pancake
Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...
|
dominic west: I saw that you had a tv dinner tonight, and that's just wrong. a beautiful thing like you should be eating the finest cuisine. bunny: um, it was lean cuisine, does that count? dominic west: absolutely not. here, I've grilled you a hamburger. it's got pickles and two kinds of cheese. I made the roll myself. bunny: you didn't put mustard on it, did you? dominic west: (horrified) no! I love you! |
2003-10-08 // 9:22 p.m. // bunny
|
jason statham: (looking at michael vartan) wow. you think he'll be okay? selli: oh, yeah. this is utopia, so nothing ever stays broken. remember when gabriel byrne kicked the crap out of christian? jason statham: right, I heard about that. still, I don't think I've ever seen a person bent into that position. selli: I have, but usually in a different context. jason statham: and look! here I am all manly and dirty after a day of ass-kicking, and it seems like you've had a few martinis. wanna see how flexible I can get? selli: with all those muscles I'm guessing not very. but I'm damn sure willing to try! |
2003-10-08 // 12:52 p.m. // selli
|
michael vartan: hey, look, I made you a present! selli: what the crap? michael vartan: it's a pair of ruby slippers, just like in the wizard of oz! I figured you could use them for halloween or something. selli: it looks like you just used a bunch of sequins and a hot glue gun. where did you get those shoes? michael vartan: oh, I found them in your closet. they were in a box in the top, so I figured you didn't like them much anyway. selli: no. not my Sergio Rossi ostrich pumps from saks fifth?!? michael vartan: yeah, there was something about a sack on the shoebox. is that a bad thing? selli: (deep breath) you glued red sequins to a six hundred dollar pair of shoes? michael vartan: um. yes. selli: you're very pretty, michael, but I think I need to watch jason statham and daniel day-lewis flex their muscles a little. why don't you go ask them to try out their new ju jitsu moves on you? michael vartan: yes ma'am. I assume you'd like a martini sent up to the sun deck? selli: of course, love. I wouldn't miss this for a pair of handmade italian pumps. |
2003-10-07 // 11:37 a.m. // selli
|
bunny: I think my head just exploded. oh my god, is that a piece of my brain on the floor? joaquin phoenix: let me put that back for you, hold still a minute... bunny: no, wait, I want to poke it with a stick first. ew, it's making slurpy noises! it's like nasty jello. joaquin phoenix: which is why you shouldn't mess with it. if you keep poking your brain trash with that stick, it won't fit right once I put it back in your head. bunny: I know, but when will I ever have another chance to see my brain like that? it's all glisten-y in the sunlight. joaquin phoenix: hold still and let me fix you up, and then we can make out in your bed underneath the down comforter. bunny: holding still now. |
2003-10-06 // 10:21 a.m. // bunny
|
dominic west: I was going to Italy to bring you tiramisu, but changed my mind. bunny: um, why? I like tiramisu. dominic west: I thought you'd enjoy the tiramisu much more if we were in venice. bunny: you are a wise and insightful man. let's go! |
2003-10-05 // 8:02 p.m. // bunny
|
|
bunny: man, I'm glad this is Pancake Utopia. otherwise, all that time I spent out by the pool would have me burnt to a crisp! jason statham: instead you are delightfully non-crispy, and maybe a little bit squishy. come here, let me squish you. bunny: hee! that tickles! |
2003-10-05 // 1:56 p.m. // bunny
|
selli: what? why is the sun out? I wanna sleep some more! matthieu kassovitz: just pull the covers over your head and you'll be fine. here, I'll kiss your neck until you fall back asleep, how's that? selli: I might not want to fall asleep after that. (leers) matthieu kassovitz: then I'll spend the afternoon kissing the rest of you! |
2003-10-04 // 1:13 p.m. // selli
|
bunny: owie, why does my head hurt so much today? daniel day-lewis: I told you getting that new headboard was bad news! |
2003-10-04 // 12:05 p.m. // bunny
|
michael vartan: hey, I was thinking... selli: (reading East of Eden) mm? michael vartan: well, that book is pretty bad, right? selli: well, steinbeck has his positives. what are you getting at? michael vartan: that perhaps there's a better use for your time then reading a book you're not particularly interested in. selli: hey, free books are not to be scoffed at. but you're right. this is utopia, I can get all the free books I want! michael vartan: exactly! so why don't we head over to the Pancake Library and check out that fifty foot shelf of comic books? selli: you're so darn smart. michael vartan: and sexy too! look, in celebration of your comic reading, I'm wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants! selli: um, darling, you're wearing neither pants nor underwear. michael vartan: you complaining? selli: I think not. isn't there a couch in the library? because we're gonna need it. |
2003-10-03 // 2:47 p.m. // selli
|
bunny: aaauuunnngghaa! craig bierko: oh, you poor thing! you've burned your tongue on that delicious, rich pot of hot chocolate that silly michael vartan made for you. come here, let me pet your hair. bunny: iiiggh haaaaau. craig bierko: I know it hurts. want me to kiss it and make it better? bunny: aaafa ah aaaee oooh aaaughrrii. craig bierko: here, I've got an aspirin right here. now just lie down with me on the sofa and we'll get snuggled up for a nap. |
2003-10-03 // 8:18 a.m. // bunny
�
All images are copyright � by the photographers/publicity agencies that took them. We don�t link to your server, so please don�t link to ours. All textual content contained herein is a work of fiction and is in no way meant to represent actual people. All textual content and website design is copyright � 2004 rachel m. and selena f.
* to send email, replace "AT" with "@" -- we just did that to avoid spam.