pancake
i ordered you a pancake
One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...
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selli: hey, where are all the pancake boys?
jim morrison: (peeking out from behing a door) psst! selli, over here.
selli: what's going on?
pancake boys: surprise!!! happy birthday!
selli: oh my jebus! how did you guys arrange all this?
jim morrison: well, gettin a cake in the shape of a pony was a little difficult, but gene kelly is an amazing chef. pablo did all the decorations, river installed the orange spotlights in the pool, and jeff wrote a bunch of new songs just for you.
selli: and what about you, darling?
jim morrison: me? I insured that all the boys would walk around buck-ass naked for the rest of the night.
selli: can I put a bow on you? because you're the best present ever. |
2003-10-31 // 4:12 p.m. // selli
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bunny: why is my bedroom door locked from the outside? I didn't even know it could do that. river phoenix: james dean and I conspired to keep you here with us. all day. you keep going to that job of yours, it's insanity. you're taking today off, you're staying with us, and you're going to like it. bunny: no doubt. but can I at least grab a clean shirt out of the laundry? I don't want to wear these pajamas all day. river phoenix: take. them. off. bunny: oh my god, I think I just melted into a little puddle of goo. |
2003-10-31 // 8:49 a.m. // bunny
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selli: what the... when did we get a ballroom?
gene kelly: I had it built while you were watching the sky. the other pancakes left a note saying it was your birthday tomorrow, so I thought this would be a fitting surprise.
selli: it definately is! can I get that chandelier in my bedroom?
gene kelly: I've had one installed above your sleigh bed, as well as in your bathroom. there's even a mini-chandelier in the linen closet.
selli: this is the best present ever! (looks around) whoa, is that vera wang dress for me?!?
gene kelly: yes, and michael vartan had a new pair of shoes sent over to match. now, why don't you get dressed and I'll teach you how to tango?
selli: as long as you promise I won't be dressed for very long...
gene kelly: I solemnly swear. |
2003-10-30 // 4:56 p.m. // selli
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selli: do you think if we lay here all evening, we'll be able to see the auroras?
pablo neruda: i think, my little love, that with such beauty nestled beneath the sky, nature would not dare to compete.
selli: and if I hide in the crook of your arm?
pablo neruda: then I shall hold you until the atmosphere glows verdant, delighting in my time spent here with you. |
2003-10-30 // 3:19 p.m. // selli
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jeff buckley: you know how much I love this guitar, right?
selli: of course, darling. you've kept it with you forever.
jeff buckley: well, I'd give this guitar up in a minute if I could stay here another week.
selli: oh baby. come here and let me play with your hair.
jeff buckley: can I sing to you while you do?
selli: hmm, lemme think about that for a second, okay? YES, of course!
jeff buckley: outstanding! |
2003-10-29 // 4:58 p.m. // selli
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james dean: you need to skip work and come with me. now. bunny: what? where are we going? james dean: do you care? bunny: hm, you make a compelling argument. let's go. |
2003-10-29 // 2:42 p.m. // bunny
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jim morrison: I know you girls have the meadow and the pool and all, but I was thinking maybe we could go out into the desert today.
selli: what, like death valley? why?
jim morrison: I just thought it would be amazing to lay down together in the beating sun, nothing but sand between us, barely able to breath from the press of the heat. I've always found it to be inspiring.
selli: I think I might just find myself inspired, too. but won't we get sunburned?
jim morrison: I'm a ghost and you live in a fantasy world.
selli: good point. hold my hand while we walk?
jim morrison: sure thing, baby. |
2003-10-28 // 3:34 p.m. // selli
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jeff buckley: hey, pretty thing. I know you�ve felt a little like death these past few days, so I have something that I hope will help you relax and maybe put a smile on your face. bunny: so far I�ve been using devil�s food cupcakes to de-stress. is it better than devil�s food cupcakes? jeff buckley: I filled your claw-footed bathtub with bubbles and hot water, and I carpeted the bathroom floor with a thick layer of rose petals. I lit a half dozen of those merlot scented candles you love, too. and the window�s open a bit, since this is Utopia and there�s a sweet summer breeze blowing. bunny: my god, I�m stress-free just hearing about it. that's amazing. jeff buckley: I also wrote a dozen new songs today � something (coy grin) inspired me. do you mind if I sing them to you while you�re in the bath? you're so good about listening and always have great edits. bunny: if you aren�t careful, you will end up in the tub with me. jeff buckley: I look forward to a dangerous couple of hours with you, then. |
2003-10-28 // 2:37 p.m. // bunny
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pablo neruda: I hope you don't mind, but I was watching you sleeping... your head on the pillow, and something started in my soul, fever or forgotten wings... bunny: I think you can watch me sleep anytime without compunction. how could I be mad -- or weirded out -- when you say things like that? pablo neruda: do you think we could get something to eat? and then maybe another nap, maybe in the meadow, and this time I'll join you... under the infinite sky, with the night full of stars, and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance... bunny: I know that I can't keep you, but do you think we could just stretch this day for as long a forever as possible? pablo neruda: I see no reason not to. |
2003-10-27 // 4:16 p.m. // bunny
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river phoenix: I heard you had a rough weekend.
selli: yeah, I... holy crap.
river phoenix: I know. we've been getting that reaction all week.
selli: understandably so! I'm glad to see you though.
river phoenix: me too. so glad, in fact, that I arranged for jeff buckley to play a duet with me so you'll have something to listen to while you take a nap.
selli: so long as you promise to cuddle up with me after the song's over.
river phoenix: how could I resist a sleeping selli?! |
2003-10-27 // 10:31 a.m. // selli
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bunny: gah! what are you doing in my closet? you're not about to run up any walls or anything equally ridiculous, are you? gene kelly: not at all. put these shoes on, they're perfect. bunny: for what? please not tap dancing. gene kelly: no, for tango. come here and give me your hips. bunny: yowza. I like the sound of that. gene kelly: we haven't even started yet. bunny: oh, hello hands! |
2003-10-25 // 12:36 p.m. // bunny
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james dean: hey, you wanna go outside and smoke?
selli: (blinks) wait, aren't you...? nevermind. I'm just glad to have someone to smoke with. but it's awfully cold outside.
james dean: maybe you didn't notice how hot I am. because I am. very hot. and this here jacket? it fits two.
selli: you're getting some serious lip-action when we get out there. |
2003-10-24 // 3:22 p.m. // selli
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bunny: wow, you came out of nowhere! I almost dropped this pie I was so surprised. jeff buckley: that would have been a travesty! would you like me to sing you a song about pie? I can sing pretty ok. bunny: that's a charming bit of understatement. a song and... did you bring any candy with you? jeff buckley: it wouldn't be halloween week without candy, now would it? here's a big bag of those smaller sized hershey variety bars. I went ahead and picked out all the crackly ones, since I know you don't like them. (starts tuning guitar) now, I was thinking of a nice hour-long serenade. are you ok with that? bunny: I am so ok with that, I can't even tell you. |
2003-10-24 // 12:53 p.m. // bunny
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