pancake

i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...


selli: ugh, have you been mud-wrestling again? and if so, why wasn't I invited to watch?!

paul rudd: no, nothing like that. I've been making you a surprise.

selli: I'm not sure I want the surprise if the making of it leaves you covered from neck to knee in mud.

paul rudd: it's not dirt. it's nutella.

selli: (blink)

paul rudd: well, if you don't want me to lock you away in the anti-gravity chamber that wil wheaton built to spend the next four-to-seven hours in a hot, floating, chocolate sexathon, then I guess we'll have to find something else to do. do you like parcheesi?

selli: such sarcasm is only gonna make you more tasty.

2003-11-25 // 2:35 p.m. // selli


vin diesel: I noticed that you signed for some packages earlier.

bunny: yeah, there were some work-related deliveries and I was the only one around.

vin diesel: (leers) I got a package you can sign for.

bunny: oh, jeez. not only was that bad, it was also incredibly awful. yikes!

vin diesel: can I sex you up as an act of contrition?

bunny: only if you promise never to use the phrase "sex you up" ever again.

vin diesel: done and done!

2003-11-24 // 2:21 p.m. // bunny


bunny: explain to me again why winter = cold?

michael vartan: it doesn't, actually.

bunny: (taps the Thinking Cap) is this thing on?

michael vartan: hee, yes. but you won't be cold because we're about to have extremely hot sex.

bunny: awesome! I love winter!

2003-11-21 // 5:18 p.m. // bunny


bunny: are you... are you dressed up like eion bailey?

paul rudd: well, I know you like it when he's in his underwear in that ballet movie. check it out: oh, like you know what you want!

bunny: I know what I want...

paul rudd: rrowr!

2003-11-19 // 11:27 p.m. // bunny


jonathan rhys-meyers: selli m'love, I haven't seen you in... hey, where'd you get that scarf?!

selli: oh, this beautiful, gorgeous, made-with-love scarf? I, uh, snuck into your room last night to surprise you with hot sex, but you were gone. and I saw the scarf and knew it had to be for me, so I took it. are you mad at me?

jonathan rhys-meyers: oh, well of course not. but how did you know it wasn't for bunny?

selli: because I saw it first.

jonathan rhys-meyers: good point. wanna get back to that hot sex now?

selli: does chocolate make me happy? what kind of question is that!

2003-11-19 // 11:37 a.m. // selli


bunny: aw, crap. the power went out, and I just put dinner in the oven. crap!

wil wheaton: ok, well, would you rather I whip up a generator real quick, or that I fill the room with candles and use the Space-Time Continuum Machine to bring you a delicious roast squab?

bunny: squab! squab!

2003-11-18 // 6:25 p.m. // bunny


gabriel byrne: I knitted you this scarf.

selli: that's excellent! I didn't know you could knit.

gabriel byrne: okay, well actually... jonathan rhys-meyers knitted the scarf, and I snuck into his room and stole it.

selli: that's dastardly!

gabriel byrne: yes I know. it makes me rather sexy, wouldn't you say?

selli: ra-ther. why don't we take off all out clothes and see whose skin tone matches it better?

gabriel byrne: with that alabaster german skin, I doubt anything would look bad on you. but I'll give it the old college try!

2003-11-18 // 10:16 a.m. // selli


vin diesel: did you skip out on work today?

bunny: yes! I did!

vin diesel: you saucy thing! come and eat chocolates off my deliciously ripped abs.

bunny: sounds good to me. oh, and can we make this a regular monday thing? awesome, thanks.

2003-11-17 // 5:51 p.m. // bunny


bunny: why is work always so insane around the holidays?

paul rudd: because everyone knows how totally awesome you are at your job and how you're so on top of things and speedy and all-around superrific at turning around rough layouts in no time at all but with a high level of accuracy.

bunny: wow, that's so not it. but a nice explanation nonetheless.

paul rudd: no, actually I'm totally right.

bunny: do we have to fight about this?

paul rudd: if by "fight" you mean "wrestle around naked in that pool of hot fudge and then have a slippery, chocolatey make out session" then, yes, we have to fight about this.

bunny: right. bring it on!

2003-11-14 // 3:12 p.m. // bunny


christian bale: shhhhh.

bunny: huh?

christian bale: you're too stressed to talk, so just be quiet and let me kiss you.

bunny: ok.

2003-11-13 // 4:48 p.m. // bunny


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