i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...

	boromir: your hair is wet. bunny: yeah, I just washed it. why? boromir: I think the rest of you should match. (tosses bunny into the pool) bunny: aaaaaaaaaaugh! you are a bad, bad man! boromir: (nods) you want to make something of it? bunny: oh, you just bring it right on over here!

2003-12-14 // 4:33 p.m. // bunny

bunny: (playing and rolling around in the snow) sam: are you doing that thing where you pretend you're not sick? bunny: (hiding under a pile of snow) maybe. sam: yeah, out of the snow, Coldy McCold. come on, I even have a fire going and a pile of pillows waiting on you. bunny: ooh, pillows! ok, I'm coming in. sam: what are you even playing in the snow for anyway? bunny: I'm from the south. we don't even know what snow is. it's like oliphants. sam: oliphants! where?!

2003-12-12 // 12:41 p.m. // bunny

selli: (yawns) where the hell -- legolas: you're here in my domain, lady. you've no fear of heights I hope? selli: nah. although being in a hammock forty stories up is a bit daunting. there's, uh, no chance of this falling, right? legolas: of course not. this hammock is sturdy enough to hold a bucking horse. selli: and what about a bucking elf? (leers) legolas: well, someone should really test it. in the name of safety.

2003-12-11 // 1:27 p.m. // selli

	eomer: I found boromir sleeping in the hot tub. he had this with him (puts two slabs of ribs and a lemon icebox pie on the coffee table). are you hungry? bunny: I'm hungry for the marshall of the riddermark. eomer: does this door lock?

2003-12-11 // 11:10 a.m. // bunny

selli: can I help you, sexy leader of men? boromir: oh, I was just thinking about how tasty those ribs look. selli: (looks like gollum in the forbidden pool) you... wish to take away my meat? boromir: oh, no, I wouldn't ever take your delectable dinner. I was just wondering if they're really as good as they seem. if you would but lend me the ribs... (boromir is suddenly full of arrows) legolas: eshai'du! selli: I know! that's what he gets, trying to take my meatses. legolas: what should I do with him? selli: eh, this is utopia; he'll wake up in a minute. just drag him over to the house and leave him naked in the jacuzzi. bunny'll think I left her a present! legolas: but won't bunny be dissapointed with her lack of ribs? selli: damn, probably. okay, give him half of these, and leave a lemon icebox pie with him for his troubles. legolas: as you wish, mistress. selli: oh, and find me some napkins... and a glass of lemonade... and a pumpernickel roll!

2003-12-10 // 4:27 p.m. // selli

bunny: do I smell ribs? I think I smell ribs... boromir: you do, one of the hobbits bought ribs for selli. bunny: well they're my ribs, now. will you go grab them for me? boromir: of course. or would you rather I got you a couple of slabs of your own? bunny: (looks skeptical) boromir: with lemon icebox pie. bunny: you have mastered the art of temptation, boromir. boromir: it's part of my charm, don't you think? bunny: I do. you ought to hurry with those ribs -- the sooner you bring them, the greater your reward.

2003-12-10 // 3:01 p.m. // bunny

selli: there is nothing else in the world that could possibly be better than shopping the sixth avenue flea markets on a crisp winter day. pippin: my stomach says a good plate of ribs would be an improvement. selli: you're probably right. can I finish going through the silk jackets first? pippin: sure thing. I'll go hail us a cab. why don't I hold those bags for you so you don't have to carry anything heavy?

2003-12-10 // 11:56 a.m. // selli

aragorn: I have come for you, my love. here, let me -- selli: (continues reading Naked Lunch) huh-uh. bathroom's over there. aragorn: (blinks) my lady? selli: you're covered in orc blood, the dirt of four lands, two months worth of travel grime, and you still smell like elf shampoo. there's some thermasilk in there and a pack of razors. go to. aragorn: and afterwards, my sweet? selli: (looks up and smiles) afterwards you're going to do that soft-kisses-and-cheek-touching thing that you're so good at, and then we're gonna see if the Dunedain have anything other than lives that are unnaturally long. aragorn: may the dawn never interrupt this night!

2003-12-10 // 9:16 a.m. // selli

bunny: (cough) (hack) (cough) sam: here, I made you a hot toddy. bunny: what? I thought there wasn't any tea in the whole house. sam: you got out of bed to look for tea? well, there wasn't any of that "tension tamer" junk you buy anyway. this is my own special blend -- have a drink. bunny: oh, this is so much better than anything I would have made! sam: good, then I'll make these from now on. bundle up, now, and get some sleep. it's time you started feeling better! bunny: I think I already do, a little bit...!

2003-12-09 // 9:18 p.m. // bunny

frodo: this place is harder to get to than mount doom. selli: whoa. there's a hobbit in my bathroom! I mean, I'm used to being visited by hot guys in the middle of my showertime, but usually not ones so short. frodo: don't think of me as short. think of me as extremely hot and just the right height for some dirty lovin'. selli: and to think I just got all clean. frodo: don't bother to towel off. this is gonna be a long week. selli: thank you, peter jackson!

2003-12-09 // 2:46 p.m. // selli

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