i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...

dominic west: I noticed that your computer monitor is being evil. bunny: yeah, it's been like that all week. I can't even describe the level of frustration -- and not the good kind of frustration either! dominic west: well, I have a solution. at first I thought it would be helpful if I pantomimed the role of computer monitor for you, so you could get all your work done. but then I had jonathan rhys-meyers do all your work instead. voila! bunny: I loooooove you. let's go parasailing!

2004-01-15 // 2:59 p.m. // bunny

	vin diesel: I just beat the shit out of your neighbor. I'm fairly certain he's dead. like road kill. bunny: praise the lord! you're an angel, pancake. I hated that crap piece of crap. he was noisy. when I was trying to sleep. vin diesel: that ass! I'm gonna go kill him again! bunny: you go, baby!

2004-01-14 // 11:00 p.m. // bunny

rufus sewell: hey, I got you a present. selli: is it a new job? because I'd really like a new job. one that pays me to take naps. rufus sewell: sorry, love, but jobs aren't much my specialty. but look what I did get you! selli: a sweater! it's very pretty. thank you muchly. rufus sewell: it's not just any sweater, you silly girl. it's made out of pure warmth woven with cashmere. it always keeps you at a perfectly comfortable temperature no matter how cold it is outside. selli: I think you've earned a prize for being the best gift-giver in the entire tri-state area. what'll it be? rufus sewell: me. you. two capfuls of vanilla sugar bubble bath. selli: rarr!

2004-01-14 // 1:23 p.m. // selli

bunny: you know what football is? mathieu kassovitz: american football? yes, it's that fairy version of rugby. bunny: hey, there's hitting in american football. you're just scared. of falling in the mud. mathieu kassovitz: are you trying to engage me in a full contact sport? bunny: oh, I'll show you a full contact sport! mathieu kassovitz: are you trying to get me dirty? bunny: oh, I'll show you dirty! mathieu kassovitz: are you going to repeat everything I say? bunny: oh, I'll show you... um. no, I guess not. mathieu kassovitz: it was very charming. really. let's go play football. bunny: full contact! woo!

2004-01-13 // 9:31 p.m. // bunny

selli: sweet mother of christ. neil patrick harris: whoa. what happened to you? selli: this is quite possibly the worst haircut I've ever had in my life. oh god, I look like a drunken lawn ornament! how am I gonna face the rest of humanity like this? neil patrick harris: well, it looks fine to me. gorgeous in fact. selli: did you take stupid pills today? it's atrocious, all crooked on one side and -- hey, wait, it's fine. no, it's awesome! how did you make my hair magically perfect? neil patrick harris: I just made a short trip in the Space-Time Continuum machine and made sure your stylist went to the best cosmotology school in the country before she ever dared to touch your hair. selli: your brains are even more sexy than your ass!

2004-01-13 // 1:39 p.m. // selli

selli: hrr... vin diesel: wow, I've never seen anyone's head explode like that. I'm tempted to make you go back to work just so I can watch that happen again. selli: (incoherent mumbles) vin diesel: here, lemme just tuck that under... hold still a second, this gooey bit doesn't want to go back. selli: ugh. geez, I've never felt so rotten. vin diesel: where did you learn to do brain pyrotechnics? you're like a squicky jubilee! selli: dude, if I were an x-man, my power would be much more relevant. boot jets or something. vin diesel: c'mon, you could save the world with that. selli: would I have to wear my underwear on the outside of my pants? vin diesel: pants? pfft! pants are for mere mortals. you'll be as naked as I can get you. your superhero identity will be the Half-Nekkid Head-Splodey... um, something. too long? selli: that means you have to be my sidekick. can I call you Captain Fancypants? vin diesel: uh, no. but I'll totally drive the brain-mobile. selli: wicked!

2004-01-12 // 2:31 p.m. // selli

	christian bale: guess what we're doing today! bunny: huh? oh, um... napping? christian bale: better. we're playing a tournament of Strip Mario Kart. bunny: you're so about to be naked. bring it, bale!

2004-01-12 // 11:56 a.m. // bunny

bunny: ...uh-oh... dominic west: what's wrong? bunny: I sorta just broke a window. dominic west: how did you manage that? bunny: hey! are you implying that because of my gender I don't have the means to break a window?! dominic west: are you avoiding the issue. bunny: yes. and this is my Utopia, so I say you quit asking those pesky questions and come over here and make out with me. dominic west: yes, ma'am!

2004-01-07 // 7:10 p.m. // bunny

rufus sewell: what are you doing up? bunny: mmruggnm work unnnnghgm. rufus sewell: get back in bed, lady! I insist that you keep your holiday hours and not wake up until you feel like it -- maybe around 1 or 2 this afternoon. I'll have that rhys-meyers chap handle all your "work," and then when you're ready I'll bring you pancakes and cookies for breakfast. bunny: I'd cheer and dance and smother you with kisses if I weren't already back asleep!

2004-01-05 // 9:10 a.m. // bunny

vin diesel: wow, that was the best day ever! can we do it again? bunny: huh? but all we did was sit around in our jammies, not brush our teeth, and then I made hamburgers. god, we even watched judge judy. judge judy, vin! vin diesel: yeah, but they were really good hamburgers. and I got to hang out with you aaaaaall daaaaay! bunny: aww. ok, we can do it again tomorrow. but only if you do that little dance that you do. vin diesel: as you wish, baby! I'll go get the frilly apron -- it adds to the dance I think. bunny: oh yes, yes it does.

2004-01-01 // 5:56 p.m. // bunny

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