i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...

neil patrick harris: what in the hell are you doing? selli: basking. neil patrick harris: with no clothes on? someone will see you! selli: hey, the sun finally decided to let it be warm outside, so I figure he deserves a free show. neil patrick harris: aren't you the perfect girl? selli: I will be once this tan sets in. and why do you still have clothes on? neil patrick harris: I have no idea! selli: grab the tanning oil, I think I missed a spot. right here. and here. no, again.

2004-03-01 // 12:06 p.m. // selli

bunny: aw, dang. jonathan rhys-meyers: what happened? not any silly work stuff, I hope. I told you I'd take care of that. bunny: no, worse. I just dropped a big piece of chocolate cake on my keyboard -- icing side down. jonathan rhys-meyers: no! oh, I hope you were able to salvage the cake... bunny: most of it, yes, but there's a tiny bit of icing on the option key. that's less icing for me to eat! jonathan rhys-meyers: travesty! not to worry, there's a whole can of cream cheese icing in the fridge. shall I get you a spoon. bunny: yes, please. oh, and a pony. jonathan rhys-meyers: one step ahead of you dear. what did you think that pile of hay was for. bunny: well... erm... rolling around... in... jonathan rhys-meyers: which is why I have two piles of hay! bunny: cheeky!

2004-03-01 // 9:58 a.m. // bunny

matt damon: I cancelled all your plans this weekend. selli: what? why in the world would you do that? I was supposed to see all my friends! matt damon: yeah, but you're sleepy and bitchy and I know you -- all you really want to do is lay in bed and read your new book. but you didn't want to cancel on your friends and seem like a heel, so you were just going to suck it up. I love you for it, my darling little martyr, but you and I have a date with the couch, two bottles of wine, and the Rushmore DVD. selli: I should be really mad at you. matt damon: nah. your friends probably are, but you can just tell them what an ass I am. I'll totally take the blame. selli: who's the martyr now, huh? matt damon: keep it up, miss smarty-pants, and we'll see which one of us gets nailed! (leers) selli: ow. that was wrong. matt damon: but funny. selli: maybe a little. matt damon: uhh... hey, look! I took off my shirt! selli: rock!

2004-02-27 // 2:12 p.m. // selli

	selli: blech! jake gyllenhaal: whoa! those were some amazing snot pyrotechnics. selli: yeah, I'm practicing for the Sinus Infection Olympics. wanna see what I can do with this glass of milk? jake gyllenhaal: yes! lemme get the video camera. selli: because we need evidence of how unstoppably sexy I am when my face plays "what's grosser than gross." jake gyllenhaal: you read my mind!

2004-02-26 // 11:07 a.m. // selli

bunny: what... what are you doing? daniel day-lewis: I'm weaving. bunny: you're... weaving. well. what... are you weaving? daniel day-lewis: I noticed your spring fever -- I think your words were "hardcore spring fever," right? -- so I'm weaving a blanket for you. out of wildflowers. bunny: that's not... um, wow. that's very sweet. and strange. are there any bugs on that? daniel day-lewis: are there any bugs in Utopia? bunny: not if I have anything to say about it!

2004-02-25 // 4:16 p.m. // bunny

	selli: hate! hugh jackman: cranky-pants! selli: gah!

2004-02-25 // 10:31 a.m. // selli

justin theroux: I made you a mixed CD. selli: aw, that's sweet! who's on it? justin theroux: well, I know how much you love live music but hate bootlegs, so I got some of your favorite artists to record an album for you. selli: holy crap! tori, blonde redhead, beck, better than ezra, nikka and gal costa... are they related? justin theroux: I don't think so. selli: wait, you got all these people in the same room, made them sing, and you didn't call me?!? justin theroux: oh, don't be silly. that's the second part of the present. they'll all be here after dinner to play for you while we sit on the patio and eat shrimp kabobs. selli: can I make out with you now? justin theroux: I'm gonna have to say... yes!

2004-02-24 // 1:46 p.m. // selli

bunny: guess what today is! hugh jackman: um, tuesday? bunny: specifically, fat tuesday. and since starting tomorrow we'll be going through a time of abstinence and restraint -- hugh jackman: abstinence! not really?? I'll be so depressed! bunny: no, silly thing, you have nothing to worry about. however! since, theoretically, we'll be going through a time of abstinence and restraint, we really should make the most of today. (leers) hugh jackman: so, basically, it's just a regular tuesday. bunny: pretty much.

2004-02-24 // 8:42 a.m. // bunny

jake gyllenhaal: here, you might need these toothpicks to prop your eyes open. bunny: thanks, sweets, I'll need 'em. what's up with the huge sleepy factor going on today? jake gyllenhaal: I don't know, but when you finally realize that you don't actually have to do all that work because you're in utopia and decide to curl up in a soft, fluffy blanket, I'll be waiting on the sofa for you. it's so totally time for a movie fest. bunny: ooh, can we watch old ray millands? jake gyllenhaal: what else? now get your tail into some jammies!

2004-02-23 // 5:01 p.m. // bunny

sean patrick flanery: hey! selli! where the crap did you go? selli: (incoherant mumbles from under the bed) sean patrick flanery: uh, honey? you generally sleep on top of the bed, not beneath it. selli: shoo muuh drin. ahhma foo. sean patrick flanery: I warned you to stay away from the jello shots. now, crawl outta there and give me a kiss. selli: ew. sean patrick flanery: no! I have magic anti-hangover kisses. you'll be better after one smootch! selli: ugh. I can't believe that worked. geez, I thought athena was gonna pop out of my skull. sean patrick flanery: you still need to brush your teeth. (snicker) selli: yeah, why don't you laugh yourself over to the kitchen and make me a grilled cheese sandwich before I breathe all over you. sean patrick flanery: yes ma'am!

2004-02-23 // 2:19 p.m. // selli

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