i ordered you a pancake

Pancake Utopia? One regular day at work, two normal, healthy women were using IM as a lifeline, complaining about this and that to make the day a little easier to get through. They talked about eating breakfast for dinner, avoiding stupid boys, and never having to work again. Then they realized that a land of pancakes, idealized boys, and easy living would be utopia. Pancake utopia. So they left for this crazy, lovely pancake land, never to return. But every once in awhile, we get a report from that great beyond...

jonathan rhys-meyers: oh my scary lord! what was that? was that an earthquake? is the apocalypse coming?? bunny: no, that was just my tummy rumbling. jonathan rhys-meyers: dear god, woman. you're shaking the whole house. are you sure you aren't a harbinger of the end of days? bunny: har de har har. you'd better be hiding a chocolate cake in your pocket. jonathan rhys-meyers: what else would I have in my pocket? (sly grin) except maybe this slab of barbecue ribs! bunny: yay! ok, I'll call of the end of the world... for today...

2004-04-06 // 3:40 p.m. // bunny

paul rudd: what the... where have you been?!? I've been waiting here for days! selli: it's the first week of april. I'm in charge of quarterly sales, remember? so I kinda haven't eaten or slept for three days. paul rudd: how dare that pesky work keep you from enjoying your two most favourite things! now, you just take off that useless "business suit" and crawl into bed. I've had the electric blanket on for you. selli: which is good, considering the fact that it's ass-cold outside. do you have anything to eat? paul rudd: do I look unprepared? there's a porterhouse steak ready and waiting. selli: mmm. can you just fork it into my mouth? I really don't feel like expending any energy. paul rudd: here comes the meaty airplane!

2004-04-06 // 3:18 p.m. // selli

christian bale: I notice that you've been nodding a bit at your desk. why don't you use me as a finely muscled yet still comfortable pillow and nap for as long as you want while I fold you laundry without complaining? in fact, I can't think of anything I'd enjoy more. bunny: well, if you want to... except I have to clean my whole apartment this afternoon! it's embarassingly dirty. christian bale: not to worry, I'll have rhys-meyers take care of all that. come on now, let's have a nap. bunny: you're such a doll.

2004-04-02 // 2:14 p.m. // bunny

selli: well guys, I'm leaving. orlando bloom: okay. what time will you be back? selli: no, I don't think you understand. I'm going back to the real world forever. I won't be back. orlando bloom: but... but what's wrong? what did I do? selli: well, I could have used a few more backrubs, but it's too late now. I hope you have a good life. orlando bloom: no! please, no you can't -- selli: april fool's! bwahaha! orlando bloom: you naughty, naughty bitch! get over here and let me hug you and remember to never, ever take you for granted again!

2004-04-01 // 12:32 p.m. // selli

selli: well hello, nurse. (leers) neil patrick harris: huh? selli: nothing. so why are you wandering around the house all shirtless and pleasently dirty? neil patrick harris: I just had a little home repair to take care of. but don't tell anyone -- it's supposed to be a secret. selli: my silence will cost you. neil patrick harris: why don't I repay you by dragging you into the shower with me? selli: if you wash my hair, I promise I'll forget all about it. neil patrick harris: and what if I give you hours of sexual pleasure? selli: what, like you weren't going to? shame on you! that'll cost you a hand massage!

2004-03-29 // 4:46 p.m. // selli

	dominic west: hello, love! I've brought you flowers and cake. shall we watch scary movies on your fancy dvd player? bunny: flowers, cake, and movies... what did you break? dominic west: nothing! maybe the air conditioner. but neil patrick harris is fixing it right now! or he would be, if it were broken, which is is not. bunny: uh-huh. you're lucky I like cake, my friend. very, very lucky.

2004-03-29 // 2:49 p.m. // bunny

	bunny: um, complete sentences. speaking. can't in. ARGH! sam rockwell: are you rendered inarticulate by sleepiness or by awe at my splendor? bunny: a little bit of both. mostly splendor, though. sam rockwell: woo! hey, let's put on some disco records and shake our groove things! bunny: I'm no expert, but I think it's a groove thang. sam rockwell: just shake whatcha got, baby! ow!

2004-03-26 // 4:12 p.m. // bunny

hugh jackman: wake up, sleepy butt. selli: (glares) you know I reserve the right to kill anyone who interrupts my sleep, right? hugh jackman: I know that, and am prepared for a spanking. (leers) but I have a surprise that will make waking up worthwhile. selli: does it include breakfast? hugh jackman: damn yes! mind, it's leftover corn chowder from last night, but it's piping hot and delicious. selli: that'll do. so what's my surprise? hugh jackman: I've been hiding TiVo in my room for the last few years, and have managed to record every episode of Law & Order for all thirteen seasons. you wanna watch them and snuggle under the covers? selli: do I ever! you might even get some lovin' between the third and fourth seasons. hugh jackman: I'm so damn smart!

2004-03-26 // 12:17 p.m. // selli

bunny: aw, man, today is so blah! jonathan rhys-meyers: what would make the day less blah? would you like me to tell you some fantastic stories in my charming accent? bunny: ooh, yes please! jonathan rhys-meyers: how about the time I wrestled a five-ton gorilla to its knees? that was a right good time, and I redeemed a coupon for chocolate bars that day, too. bunny: did you wrestle the gorrilla for fame and fortune? jonathan rhys-meyers: not at all. it was to escape an awfully frightening cave full of bats. bunny: oh? jonathan rhys-meyers: yes, it all started on a thursday...

2004-03-23 // 3:07 p.m. // bunny

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